The Importance of Discipline

Discipline is something that is vital to a healthy child. However, it is not what you traditionally think of when you think of the word discipline. Traditionally discipline is a fear tactic, "Do this or you'll get spanked". Fear-based discipline (including anything you do that causes harm to your child, physically or emotionally) encourages a child to follow your directions out of fear of pain. It hinders their ability to form a respectful relationship. It also encourages lying. (See my post on Consequences to learn more about NHPS's recommended discipline.)

Discipline is actually something you do in response to an unwanted behavior. For instance, if a child leaves a toy on the floor after you asked them to put it away, they lose the toy and must do a chore to earn it back. Constructive discipline is something you implement in order to help the child learn the lesson you are teaching. To go back to the example of the toy on the floor, you taught them to remember to clean up. You also taught them that it is ok to make a mistake, you just have to fix it. You also taught them that if they do make a mistake, it is a safe place to learn from it and move forward.

Constructive discipline is when your child earns something that they don't like. For instance, your child can earn a chore. Typically children don't like every chore so give them an age-appropriate one they don't like as a consequence. For more ideas on consequences, see the post on Consequences.

This is probably one of the hardest things to master as a parent. If you are feeling stuck, reach out to a friend or family member for some new ideas.