Consequences
The #1 question parents ask is "I know I'm not supposed to spank, but how do I discipline?!" They understand the psychological detriments of spanking as a consequence. But what to do instead?
Unfortunately, there isn’t an easy, one-size-fits-all answer but there are options.
Time outs. Some children do great with timeouts and some children get no benefit from them at all. Time outs are more involved than just sitting in a chair for a set number of minutes. Children with a history of trauma don’t often respond well to time outs.
Chores. Children can earn chores if they act inappropriately. You could either use a chore jar and have them pull a chore they earned, or pull a chore off the top of your head. This one works great, but the child has to follow directions enough to complete the chore.
Losing screen time means anything with a screen - computer, tablet, television, cell phone. Since children have access to multiple devices, if they lose one they lose them all. The length of time varies on the age of the child.
Natural consequences. If your child is refusing to pick up her room, don't fight about it. Let her know ahead of time that if she doesn't clean her room, whatever is left will be lost to you and she will have to earn them back. Once she is asleep, go pick up what was not put away. Tuck that stuff away safely and when she is ready she can do chores to earn them back.
These are just a few ideas to eradicate spanking while empowering parents to train their children. There are many more ideas! Practice finding what works for your family. Get creative and have fun with it. The less stressful it is for you, the more likely you are to follow through and be consistent.
